ACT II, SCENE II.A room in the castle.  | 
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Enter KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE,  ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and Attendants  | 
KING CLAUDIUS 
    Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern! 
    Moreover that we much did long to see you, 
    The need we have to use you did provoke 
    Our hasty sending. Something have you heard 
    Of Hamlet's transformation; so call it, 
    Sith nor the exterior nor the inward man 
    Resembles that it was. What it should be, 
    More than his father's death, that thus hath put him 
    So much from the understanding of himself, 
    I cannot dream of: I entreat you both, 
    That, being of so young days brought up with him, 
    And sith so neighbour'd to his youth and havior, 
    That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court 
    Some little time: so by your companies 
    To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather, 
    So much as from occasion you may glean, 
    Whether aught, to us unknown, afflicts him thus, 
    That, open'd, lies within our remedy.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    Good gentlemen, he hath much talk'd of you; 
    And sure I am two men there are not living 
    To whom he more adheres. If it will please you 
    To show us so much gentry and good will 
    As to expend your time with us awhile, 
    For the supply and profit of our hope, 
    Your visitation shall receive such thanks 
    As fits a king's remembrance.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Both your majesties 
    Might, by the sovereign power you have of us, 
    Put your dread pleasures more into command 
    Than to entreaty.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    But we both obey, 
    And here give up ourselves, in the full bent 
    To lay our service freely at your feet, 
    To be commanded.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Thanks, Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    Thanks, Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz: 
    And I beseech you instantly to visit 
    My too much changed son. Go, some of you, 
    And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    Heavens make our presence and our practises 
    Pleasant and helpful to him!
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    Ay, amen!
    Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and some Attendants 
    Enter POLONIUS 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    The ambassadors from Norway, my good lord, 
    Are joyfully return'd.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Thou still hast been the father of good news.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Have I, my lord? I assure my good liege, 
    I hold my duty, as I hold my soul, 
    Both to my God and to my gracious king: 
    And I do think, or else this brain of mine 
    Hunts not the trail of policy so sure 
    As it hath used to do, that I have found 
    The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    O, speak of that; that do I long to hear.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Give first admittance to the ambassadors; 
    My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in. 
    Exit POLONIUS 
    He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found 
    The head and source of all your son's distemper.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    I doubt it is no other but the main; 
    His father's death, and our o'erhasty marriage.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Well, we shall sift him. 
    Re-enter POLONIUS, with VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS 
    Welcome, my good friends! 
    Say, Voltimand, what from our brother Norway?
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VOLTIMAND 
    Most fair return of greetings and desires. 
    Upon our first, he sent out to suppress 
    His nephew's levies; which to him appear'd 
    To be a preparation 'gainst the Polack; 
    But, better look'd into, he truly found 
    It was against your highness: whereat grieved, 
    That so his sickness, age and impotence 
    Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests 
    On Fortinbras; which he, in brief, obeys; 
    Receives rebuke from Norway, and in fine 
    Makes vow before his uncle never more 
    To give the assay of arms against your majesty. 
    Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy, 
    Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee, 
    And his commission to employ those soldiers, 
    So levied as before, against the Polack: 
    With an entreaty, herein further shown, 
     
    Giving a paper 
    That it might please you to give quiet pass 
    Through your dominions for this enterprise, 
    On such regards of safety and allowance 
    As therein are set down.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    It likes us well; 
    And at our more consider'd time well read, 
    Answer, and think upon this business. 
    Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour: 
    Go to your rest; at night we'll feast together: 
    Most welcome home! 
    Exeunt VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    This business is well ended. 
    My liege, and madam, to expostulate 
    What majesty should be, what duty is, 
    Why day is day, night night, and time is time, 
    Were nothing but to waste night, day and time. 
    Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, 
    And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, 
    I will be brief: your noble son is mad: 
    Mad call I it; for, to define true madness, 
    What is't but to be nothing else but mad? 
    But let that go.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    More matter, with less art.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Madam, I swear I use no art at all. 
    That he is mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity; 
    And pity 'tis 'tis true: a foolish figure; 
    But farewell it, for I will use no art. 
    Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains 
    That we find out the cause of this effect, 
    Or rather say, the cause of this defect, 
    For this effect defective comes by cause: 
    Thus it remains, and the remainder thus. Perpend. 
    I have a daughter--have while she is mine-- 
    Who, in her duty and obedience, mark, 
    Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise. 
     
    Reads 
    'To the celestial and my soul's idol, the most 
    beautified Ophelia,'-- 
    That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; 'beautified' is 
    a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus: 
     
    Reads 
    'In her excellent white bosom, these, & c.'
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    Came this from Hamlet to her?
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful. 
     
    Reads 
    'Doubt thou the stars are fire; 
    Doubt that the sun doth move; 
    Doubt truth to be a liar; 
    But never doubt I love. 
    'O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers; 
    I have not art to reckon my groans: but that 
    I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu. 
    'Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst 
    this machine is to him, HAMLET.' 
    This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me, 
    And more above, hath his solicitings, 
    As they fell out by time, by means and place, 
    All given to mine ear.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    But how hath she 
    Received his love?
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LORD POLONIUS 
    What do you think of me?
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    As of a man faithful and honourable.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    I would fain prove so. But what might you think, 
    When I had seen this hot love on the wing-- 
    As I perceived it, I must tell you that, 
    Before my daughter told me--what might you, 
    Or my dear majesty your queen here, think, 
    If I had play'd the desk or table-book, 
    Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb, 
    Or look'd upon this love with idle sight; 
    What might you think? No, I went round to work, 
    And my young mistress thus I did bespeak: 
    'Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star; 
    This must not be:' and then I precepts gave her, 
    That she should lock herself from his resort, 
    Admit no messengers, receive no tokens. 
    Which done, she took the fruits of my advice; 
    And he, repulsed--a short tale to make-- 
    Fell into a sadness, then into a fast, 
    Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness, 
    Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension, 
    Into the madness wherein now he raves, 
    And all we mourn for.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Do you think 'tis this? 
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    It may be, very likely. 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Hath there been such a time--I'd fain know that-- 
    That I have positively said 'Tis so,' 
    When it proved otherwise?
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    Not that I know.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    [Pointing to his head and shoulder] 
    Take this from this, if this be otherwise: 
    If circumstances lead me, I will find 
    Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed 
    Within the centre.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    How may we try it further?
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LORD POLONIUS 
    You know, sometimes he walks four hours together 
    Here in the lobby.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    So he does indeed.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him: 
    Be you and I behind an arras then; 
    Mark the encounter: if he love her not 
    And be not from his reason fall'n thereon, 
    Let me be no assistant for a state, 
    But keep a farm and carters.
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KING CLAUDIUS 
    We will try it.
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QUEEN GERTRUDE 
    But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading. 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Away, I do beseech you, both away: 
    I'll board him presently.   
    Exeunt KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, and Attendants 
    Enter HAMLET, reading 
    O, give me leave: 
    How does my good Lord Hamlet?
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HAMLET 
    Well, God-a-mercy.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Do you know me, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Not I, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Then I would you were so honest a man.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Honest, my lord!
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HAMLET 
    Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be 
    one man picked out of ten thousand.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    That's very true, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a 
    god kissing carrion,--Have you a daughter?
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LORD POLONIUS 
    I have, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Let her not walk i' the sun: conception is a 
    blessing: but not as your daughter may conceive. 
    Friend, look to 't.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    [Aside] How say you by that? Still harping on my 
    daughter: yet he knew me not at first; he said I 
    was a fishmonger: he is far gone, far gone: and 
    truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for 
    love; very near this. I'll speak to him again. 
    What do you read, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    Words, words, words.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    What is the matter, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    Between who?
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LORD POLONIUS 
    I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue says here 
    that old men have grey beards, that their faces are 
    wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and 
    plum-tree gum and that they have a plentiful lack of 
    wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir, 
    though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet 
    I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for 
    yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab 
    you could go backward.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    [Aside] Though this be madness, yet there is method 
    in 't. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    Into my grave.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Indeed, that is out o' the air. 
    Aside 
    How pregnant sometimes his replies are! a happiness 
    that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity 
    could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will 
    leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of 
    meeting between him and my daughter.--My honourable 
    lord, I will most humbly take my leave of you.
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HAMLET 
    You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will 
    more willingly part withal: except my life, except 
    my life, except my life.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Fare you well, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    These tedious old fools!
    Enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    You go to seek the Lord Hamlet; there he is.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    [To POLONIUS] God save you, sir!
    Exit POLONIUS 
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GUILDENSTERN 
    My honoured lord! 
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    My most dear lord!
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HAMLET 
    My excellent good friends! How dost thou, 
    Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    As the indifferent children of the earth.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    Happy, in that we are not over-happy; 
    On fortune's cap we are not the very button.
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HAMLET 
    Nor the soles of her shoe?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Neither, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of 
    her favours?
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GUILDENSTERN 
    'Faith, her privates we.
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HAMLET 
    In the secret parts of fortune? O, most true; she 
    is a strumpet. What's the news?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.
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HAMLET 
    Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true. 
    Let me question more in particular: what have you, 
    my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune, 
    that she sends you to prison hither?
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GUILDENSTERN 
    Prison, my lord!
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HAMLET 
    Denmark's a prison.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Then is the world one.
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HAMLET 
    A goodly one; in which there are many confines, 
    wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    We think not so, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing 
    either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me 
    it is a prison.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too 
    narrow for your mind.
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HAMLET 
    O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count 
    myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I 
    have bad dreams.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    Which dreams indeed are ambition, for the very 
    substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.
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HAMLET 
    A dream itself is but a shadow.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a 
    quality that it is but a shadow's shadow.
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HAMLET 
    Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and 
    outstretched heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we 
    to the court? for, by my fay, I cannot reason.
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ROSENCRANTZ  GUILDENSTERN
    We'll wait upon you.
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HAMLET 
    No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest 
    of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest 
    man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the 
    beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.
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HAMLET 
    Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I 
    thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are 
    too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it 
    your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come, 
    deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    What should we say, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent 
    for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks 
    which your modesties have not craft enough to colour: 
    I know the good king and queen have sent for you.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    To what end, my lord?
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HAMLET 
    That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by 
    the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of 
    our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved 
    love, and by what more dear a better proposer could 
    charge you withal, be even and direct with me, 
    whether you were sent for, or no?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    [Aside to GUILDENSTERN] What say you?
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HAMLET 
    [Aside] Nay, then, I have an eye of you.--If you 
    love me, hold not off.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    My lord, we were sent for.
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HAMLET 
    I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation 
    prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king 
    and queen moult no feather. I have of late--but 
    wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all 
    custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily 
    with my disposition that this goodly frame, the 
    earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most 
    excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave 
    o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted 
    with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to 
    me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. 
    What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! 
    how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how 
    express and admirable! in action how like an angel! 
    in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the 
    world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, 
    what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not 
    me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling
    you seem to say so.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.
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HAMLET 
    Why did you laugh then, when I said 'man delights not me'?
 | 
ROSENCRANTZ 
    To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what 
    lenten entertainment the players shall receive from 
    you: we coted them on the way; and hither are they 
    coming, to offer you service.
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HAMLET 
    He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty 
    shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight 
    shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not 
    sigh gratis; the humourous man shall end his part 
    in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose 
    lungs are tickled o' the sere; and the lady shall 
    say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt 
    for't. What players are they?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Even those you were wont to take delight in, the 
    tragedians of the city.
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HAMLET 
    How chances it they travel? their residence, both 
    in reputation and profit, was better both ways.
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    I think their inhibition comes by the means of the 
    late innovation.
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HAMLET 
    Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was 
    in the city? are they so followed?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    No, indeed, are they not.
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HAMLET 
    How comes it? do they grow rusty?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace: but 
    there is, sir, an aery of children, little eyases, 
    that cry out on the top of question, and are most 
    tyrannically clapped for't: these are now the 
    fashion, and so berattle the common stages--so they 
    call them--that many wearing rapiers are afraid of 
    goose-quills and dare scarce come thither.
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HAMLET 
    What, are they children? who maintains 'em? how are 
    they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no 
    longer than they can sing? will they not say 
    afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common 
    players--as it is most like, if their means are no 
    better--their writers do them wrong, to make them 
    exclaim against their own succession?
 | 
ROSENCRANTZ 
    'Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and 
    the nation holds it no sin to tarre them to 
    controversy: there was, for a while, no money bid 
    for argument, unless the poet and the player went to 
    cuffs in the question.
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HAMLET 
    Is't possible?
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GUILDENSTERN 
    O, there has been much throwing about of brains.
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HAMLET 
    Do the boys carry it away?
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ROSENCRANTZ 
    Ay, that they do, my lord; Hercules and his load too.
 | 
HAMLET 
    It is not very strange; for mine uncle is king of 
    Denmark, and those that would make mows at him while 
    my father lived, give twenty, forty, fifty, an 
    hundred ducats a-piece for his picture in little. 
    'Sblood, there is something in this more than 
    natural, if philosophy could find it out.
    Flourish of trumpets within 
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GUILDENSTERN 
    There are the players.
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HAMLET 
    Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, 
    come then: the appurtenance of welcome is fashion 
    and ceremony: let me comply with you in this garb, 
    lest my extent to the players, which, I tell you, 
    must show fairly outward, should more appear like 
    entertainment than yours. You are welcome: but my 
    uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
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GUILDENSTERN 
    In what, my dear lord?
 | 
HAMLET 
    I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is 
    southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw. 
    Enter POLONIUS 
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Well be with you, gentlemen!
 | 
HAMLET 
    Hark you, Guildenstern; and you too: at each ear a 
    hearer: that great baby you see there is not yet 
    out of his swaddling-clouts.
 | 
ROSENCRANTZ 
    Happily he's the second time come to them; for they 
    say an old man is twice a child.
 | 
HAMLET 
    I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players; 
    mark it. You say right, sir: o' Monday morning; 
    'twas so indeed.
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    My lord, I have news to tell you.
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HAMLET 
    My lord, I have news to tell you. 
    When Roscius was an actor in Rome,--
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    The actors are come hither, my lord.
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HAMLET 
    Buz, buz!
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    Upon mine honour,--
 | 
HAMLET 
    Then came each actor on his ass,--
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LORD POLONIUS 
    The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, 
    comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, 
    historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical- 
    comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable, or 
    poem unlimited: Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor 
    Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the 
    liberty, these are the only men.
 | 
HAMLET 
    O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    What a treasure had he, my lord?
 | 
HAMLET 
    Why, 
    'One fair daughter and no more, 
    The which he loved passing well.'
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    [Aside] Still on my daughter.
 | 
HAMLET 
    Am I not i' the right, old Jephthah?
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter 
    that I love passing well.
 | 
HAMLET 
    Nay, that follows not.
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    What follows, then, my lord?
 | 
HAMLET 
    Why, 
    'As by lot, God wot,' 
    and then, you know, 
    'It came to pass, as most like it was,'-- 
    the first row of the pious chanson will show you 
    more; for look, where my abridgement comes. 
     
    Enter four or five Players 
    You are welcome, masters; welcome, all. I am glad 
    to see thee well. Welcome, good friends. O, my old 
    friend! thy face is valenced since I saw thee last: 
    comest thou to beard me in Denmark? What, my young 
    lady and mistress! By'r lady, your ladyship is 
    nearer to heaven than when I saw you last, by the 
    altitude of a chopine. Pray God, your voice, like 
    apiece of uncurrent gold, be not cracked within the 
    ring. Masters, you are all welcome. We'll e'en 
    to't like French falconers, fly at any thing we see: 
    we'll have a speech straight: come, give us a taste 
    of your quality; come, a passionate speech.
 | 
First Player 
    What speech, my lord?
 | 
HAMLET 
    I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was 
    never acted; or, if it was, not above once; for the 
    play, I remember, pleased not the million; 'twas 
    caviare to the general: but it was--as I received 
    it, and others, whose judgments in such matters 
    cried in the top of mine--an excellent play, well 
    digested in the scenes, set down with as much 
    modesty as cunning. I remember, one said there 
    were no sallets in the lines to make the matter 
    savoury, nor no matter in the phrase that might 
    indict the author of affectation; but called it an 
    honest method, as wholesome as sweet, and by very 
    much more handsome than fine. One speech in it I 
    chiefly loved: 'twas Aeneas' tale to Dido; and 
    thereabout of it especially, where he speaks of 
    Priam's slaughter: if it live in your memory, begin 
    at this line: let me see, let me see-- 
    'The rugged Pyrrhus, like the Hyrcanian beast,'-- 
    it is not so:--it begins with Pyrrhus:-- 
    'The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms, 
    Black as his purpose, did the night resemble 
    When he lay couched in the ominous horse, 
    Hath now this dread and black complexion smear'd 
    With heraldry more dismal; head to foot 
    Now is he total gules; horridly trick'd 
    With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, 
    Baked and impasted with the parching streets, 
    That lend a tyrannous and damned light 
    To their lord's murder: roasted in wrath and fire, 
    And thus o'er-sized with coagulate gore, 
    With eyes like carbuncles, the hellish Pyrrhus 
    Old grandsire Priam seeks.' 
    So, proceed you.
 | 
LORD POLONIUS 
    'Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and 
    good discretion.
 | 
First Player 
    'Anon he finds him 
    Striking too short at Greeks; his antique sword, 
    Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls, 
    Repugnant to command: unequal match'd, 
    Pyrrhus at Priam drives; in rage strikes wide; 
    But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword 
    The unnerved father falls. Then senseless Ilium, 
    Seeming to feel this blow, with flaming top 
    Stoops to his base, and with a hideous crash 
    Takes prisoner Pyrrhus' ear: for, lo! his sword, 
    Which was declining on the milky head 
    Of reverend Priam, seem'd i' the air to stick: 
    So, as a painted tyrant, Pyrrhus stood, 
    And like a neutral to his will and matter, 
    Did nothing. 
    But, as we often see, against some storm, 
    A silence in the heavens, the rack stand still, 
    The bold winds speechless and the orb below 
    As hush as death, anon the dreadful thunder 
    Doth rend the region, so, after Pyrrhus' pause, 
    Aroused vengeance sets him new a-work; 
    And never did the Cyclops' hammers fall 
    On Mars's armour forged for proof eterne 
    With less remorse than Pyrrhus' bleeding sword 
    Now falls on Priam. 
    Out, out, thou strumpet, Fortune! All you gods, 
    In general synod 'take away her power; 
    Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel, 
    And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven, 
    As low as to the fiends!'
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LORD POLONIUS 
    This is too long.
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HAMLET 
    It shall to the barber's, with your beard. Prithee, 
    say on: he's for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he 
    sleeps: say on: come to Hecuba.
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First Player 
    'But who, O, who had seen the mobled queen--'
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HAMLET 
    'The mobled queen?'
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LORD POLONIUS 
    That's good; 'mobled queen' is good.
 | 
First Player 
    'Run barefoot up and down, threatening the flames 
    With bisson rheum; a clout upon that head 
    Where late the diadem stood, and for a robe, 
    About her lank and all o'er-teemed loins, 
    A blanket, in the alarm of fear caught up; 
    Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steep'd, 
    'Gainst Fortune's state would treason have 
    pronounced: 
    But if the gods themselves did see her then 
    When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport 
    In mincing with his sword her husband's limbs, 
    The instant burst of clamour that she made, 
    Unless things mortal move them not at all, 
    Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven, 
    And passion in the gods.'
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Look, whether he has not turned his colour and has 
    tears in's eyes. Pray you, no more.
 | 
HAMLET 
    'Tis well: I'll have thee speak out the rest soon. 
    Good my lord, will you see the players well 
    bestowed? Do you hear, let them be well used; for 
    they are the abstract and brief chronicles of the 
    time: after your death you were better have a bad 
    epitaph than their ill report while you live.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    My lord, I will use them according to their desert.
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HAMLET 
    God's bodykins, man, much better: use every man 
    after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? 
    Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less 
    they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty. 
    Take them in.
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LORD POLONIUS 
    Come, sirs.
 | 
HAMLET 
    Follow him, friends: we'll hear a play to-morrow. 
     
    Exit POLONIUS with all the Players but the First 
    Dost thou hear me, old friend; can you play the 
    Murder of Gonzago?
 | 
First Player 
    Ay, my lord.
 | 
HAMLET 
    We'll ha't to-morrow night. You could, for a need, 
    study a speech of some dozen or sixteen lines, which 
    I would set down and insert in't, could you not?
 | 
First Player 
    Ay, my lord.
 | 
HAMLET 
    Very well. Follow that lord; and look you mock him 
    not. 
     
    Exit First Player 
    My good friends, I'll leave you till night: you are 
    welcome to Elsinore.
 | 
ROSENCRANTZ 
    Good my lord!
 | 
HAMLET 
    Ay, so, God be wi' ye;
    Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN 
    Now I am alone. 
    O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! 
    Is it not monstrous that this player here, 
    But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, 
    Could force his soul so to his own conceit 
    That from her working all his visage wann'd, 
    Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect, 
    A broken voice, and his whole function suiting 
    With forms to his conceit? and all for nothing! 
    For Hecuba! 
    What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, 
    That he should weep for her? What would he do, 
    Had he the motive and the cue for passion 
    That I have? He would drown the stage with tears 
    And cleave the general ear with horrid speech, 
    Make mad the guilty and appal the free, 
    Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed 
    The very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I, 
    A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak, 
    Like John-a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause, 
    And can say nothing; no, not for a king, 
    Upon whose property and most dear life 
    A damn'd defeat was made. Am I a coward? 
    Who calls me villain? breaks my pate across? 
    Plucks off my beard, and blows it in my face? 
    Tweaks me by the nose? gives me the lie i' the throat, 
    As deep as to the lungs? who does me this? 
    Ha! 
    'Swounds, I should take it: for it cannot be 
    But I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall 
    To make oppression bitter, or ere this 
    I should have fatted all the region kites 
    With this slave's offal: bloody, bawdy villain! 
    Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain! 
    O, vengeance! 
    Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave, 
    That I, the son of a dear father murder'd, 
    Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell, 
    Must, like a whore, unpack my heart with words, 
    And fall a-cursing, like a very drab, 
    A scullion! 
    Fie upon't! foh! About, my brain! I have heard 
    That guilty creatures sitting at a play 
    Have by the very cunning of the scene 
    Been struck so to the soul that presently 
    They have proclaim'd their malefactions; 
    For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak 
    With most miraculous organ. I'll have these players 
    Play something like the murder of my father 
    Before mine uncle: I'll observe his looks; 
    I'll tent him to the quick: if he but blench, 
    I know my course. The spirit that I have seen 
    May be the devil: and the devil hath power 
    To assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps 
    Out of my weakness and my melancholy, 
    As he is very potent with such spirits, 
    Abuses me to damn me: I'll have grounds 
    More relative than this: the play 's the thing 
    Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
    Exit 
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